adfinitumblog said: Hi Dan - Community is my favorite television show and Grantland is one of my favorite websites, so when Grantland posted an article about you today I read it. And also the article Alex Pappademas wrote about you a while ago, I read all of its words. I think I am like you, I am the most brilliant amazing person I know. And also an egomaniac asshole. But I'm only 21 years old. What advice do you have for a 21 year old version of yourself?


Skip the cocaine.  Best case scenario, you become a bad person for a half hour and then need more coke; worst case, you end up homeless or dead.

Don’t judge things that make you jealous and don’t lie about the jealousy.  Just say you wish you had something and figure out if there’s a way to get it.

Good writers hate bad writing but hating bad writing doesn’t make you good.  Writing badly does.

Luck and talent are the same thing, and neither of them have anything to do with your value as a human being.

When someone gives you a compliment, and you tell them they’re wrong, you’re not being humble, you’re being rude.

People attempting to prove you’re a bad person will shut up if you admit it, and they’ll leave you alone if you ask them to help you be better.

You’re going to marry Erin McGathy so try to be up front about that with all the women you date for the next 27 years.

You can’t control the outcome of your actions, so make your actions fulfilling.  That way, if the outcome is shit, you weren’t a total sucker.

Brush your teeth at night and cut down on the carbs.  Gawker and TMZ don’t scour the archives for your only hot photo.

Tags: dan quotes

"No matter how much technology allows you to connect to people, you can never start to worship the connection more than the people you’re connecting with."

— Dan Harmon, XOXO Festival (2012)

(Source: zkahn94)

Tags: dan quotes

littlestark said: Can you give some advice for a person who dropped out of college, to follow her dream (I want to be a doctor.) But I failed the test I need to take to get in med school (in Brazil) more than 3 times. And today my Mom said to me that when other people ask her what I'm doing... she feels ashamed to say that i'm still studying to get in college. I mean, I'm still nothing. I'm feeling like shit, but I can't give up, but I have the feeling that no one believes that I'll be in med school someday. :/


Nobody has ever been nothing.  We are all equally something and some of us are much luckier than others.  I was less lucky than I am now for over a quarter of my life, which is something like three quarters of my adult life - I’m not lucky enough to be good at math - my point is, I’ve felt like “nothing” for more waking hours on this planet than I’ve felt like anything.

I’m as bad at giving advice to others as you are at passing that med school test.  But believe me, that’s all that test is measuring: your ability to pass it.  It is not measuring the type or quality of doctor you might one day be, and it is certainly not measuring your worth as a person.  If this is something you honestly want, I would bet you’re going to end up getting it.  Or, at the very least, being totally satisfied that you left no stone unturned.

Your Mom is probably just expressing, in that frequently frustrating Mom way, that she’s worried she’s not being a good Mom.  She doesn’t want to see you fail, she doesn’t want you to have a bad life, because she’s measuring her abilities as a Mom by your outcomes, same as you’re measuring yourself by this med test.  I’m sure being a Mom is harder than being a doctor but I’m also sure the entrance exam was easier.  Moms can’t push a button and stop being Moms just because we’ve decided we’re grown up, and the things they say in an attempt to keep “raising” us can get under our skin.  But the biggest favor you can do yourself and your Mom (and everyone else) is to be confident about what you want.  To know why you want it.  Then you have honesty on your side.  Then anyone opposing you is opposing the truth, and that’s a bad side to be on in the long run.

I don’t know you, I don’t know you’ll be a perfect doctor, or a doctor at all.  There are realities with which to contend.  But because reality is inescapable, it’s important that we make a choice, in our heads, to counterbalance reality with things that defy it.  Gravity is a reality, but humans fly.  The language we’re exchanging, the fillings in our teeth, the pavement on the road outside, everywhere you look, for better or for worse, you’re going to see evidence that accepting reality is not a human’s tendency, and not what we’re good at, and not, in my speculation, what God or Natural Selection hired us to do.  We’ve been hired, by this universe, to dream, to aspire, to make things that weren’t real real - and because that involves a lot of failure, we’re damn good at doing that, too.

Without the benefit of details, I say stay the course.  I say keep failing.  Fall flat on your face, feel every scrape, roll in the dirt and scream in frustration.  Tell your mother you love her but the fact is, she either raised a doctor or she raised a girl that’s going to fail, spectacularly, at it, and in either case, she’s done her part.  Go fail that test a fourth time.  And get it on the fifth.  Or sixth.  Push this thing to the absolute limit, make them create a new law against your level of desire, make them arrest you for wanting to be a doctor, and when they let you out, run to fail the test again, so that when you’re slipping away from this reality, which could happen at any time, you’re not spending your last moments thinking anything but “well, I did my best.”  Also, watch Rick and Morty on Adult Swim in December.

The blog post with the “You’ll be perfect when you’re dead” quote

"I don’t like myself very much. I need to say that on some kind of record and then I’m fine for hours or days. You can’t say it to a real person, they’ll just say, “that’s okay,” or “you should” or “you shouldn’t,” they’ll react, they’ll move, they’ll strategize, they’ll try to adjust me or they’ll run away. I don’t want it refuted or debated or therapeutically massaged. It’s not a projection or a misdirection or a distortion. It’s just a statement about how I feel. Just shut up and listen to me, you big dumb moon. I don’t like myself. And I don’t want to for a long, long time."

— Dan Harmon

(Source: bcausetheinternet)

"We sacrifice ourselves for each other. And that guilt that we feel when we let somebody down or when they’re afraid of us when they think they’re gonna kill us is a sort of excommunication phobia where we’re not being good monkeys, we’re not doing this right, this person’s afraid of me, I hurt somebody. I’m not long for this world if I gotta function on my own. I will not survive out there."

— Dan Harmon

"There are two kinds of people in this world. There are the people that will have you think that there are two kinds of people in this world, and there are the ‘good; people. There is no good, there is no evil, there is just a war going on between the people that want you to think there’s a war going on and the people that know there doesn’t have to be one."

~Dan Harmon. (via abedsarecool)

(via theslayyer)

"There are two facts about humanity and they’re both undeniable. You are reminded of them every second of every breath you take. One is that we are separate. You’ll never be able to escape that. The other is that we’re absolutely together. Those two things are swirling and swirling and swirling around, and you have a choice with every breath you take and every sentence you make to celebrate one side or the other. You can celebrate the separation or you can celebrate the union, and you can forgive yourself for celebrating the separation, because that is what you are. You wake up in bed as not part of some blob of humanity. You wake up as John Smith or Kyle Davidson. You wake up as an individual, but all of those moments where that gets painful fall back on the fact that you are part of everyone around you."

— The Best of “Dan Harmon With a Microphone” at CommuniCon (via nthinks)

(Source: n-thinks)

"I think the most important thing you can know is that you want to be a part of all the other individuals. You don’t want to be alone. There’s a personality disorder for every single thing you can name under the sun. There are people who put entire jars of peanut butter up their butt. There are people who are sexually attracted to cats. But there is no one who wants to be alone."

Dan Harmon (via anniehotlipsedison)

(via butterperry-deactivated20130527)

"You’re gonna meet somebody really worth your time one day, and you don’t want to be incomplete when that happens."

— Dan Harmon, This Feels Terrible (via awkwardtim)


Reading these makes me want to make the best art I possibly can and cry in a corner for hours.

Definitely a great page to check out!


Look, everybody, I got one too! Thanks, Dan!


Look, everybody, I got one too! Thanks, Dan!

Tags: dan quotes

"The answer is always follow your bliss. Always follow your bliss. Find your voice. Shout it from the rooftops. Keep doing it until the people who are looking for you find you. Stay put."

Dan Harmon (via switzdj)

Tags: dan quotes

"Did I ever tell you about my mother? Not the retired old woman in Florida, my mother from the seventies? The quiet, frigid, scarred, pale brunette? You know what I really loved about her? She didn’t love me.
Not loving me takes a special brand of genius. You have to be an extraordinary person to pull it off. Mom was extraordinary. She was used up, broken-spirited, empty-hearted. A cracked mannequin. Some therapists say I taught myself to read books to make her love me. I always correct them: I think I taught myself to read her mind."

— Dan Harmon

"I guess I’ve loved them all, and I should be especially grateful for the ones that were smart enough to bail. I told them all that I loved them, all the scripts, all the women, and I felt it every time. Which means that I’m crazy, or that love is relatively meaningless. Just another feeling, like hot pepper burning your tongue or ecstasy making you promise to hang out more often."

— Dan Harmon